Food for my Soul
Many equate food with the tangible edibles, but there is
another source of nourishment that comes from within, a nourishment that feeds
our souls. When we are in the midst of a
traumatic storm, sometimes forgiveness is difficult to achieve.
I have shared the story my girlfriend who was gang raped as
a teenager and left her hometown twenty years ago. Two years ago, the man who
orchestrated the gang rape, her boyfriend at the time contacted her. Of course she was in shock.
My friend was a beautiful girl who has grown into a
beautiful woman. Everyone was attracted to her. At the time, he thought that she was cheating
and out of jealousy, he paid other men to attack her.
Twenty years later, this man contacted her. First via email
then by telephone which led to a conversation. He said “Maybe you don’t remember me anymore”, she replied “Of course I remember you”. He shared “After
what I did, I have been consumed with guilt. My life has been a mess. My whole
family fell apart. I could not do anything. I could not keep my job nor find a
new one. I have been miserable and I have no life here. I want to move to a neighboring country
looking for a better opportunity, but they don’t want to give me a visa.”
Then he said “Please
forgive me. If you could, I would like to
receive your forgiveness.”
She experienced fits of rage for a few days, of course this
interaction was traumatic and brought up triggers. After the brutal attack, she
had a hard time trusting men, and many failed painful relationships, including
a difficult divorce she was just coming out of.
The repercussions of the event were still very much with her
even after 20 years.
After much crying, praying and fasting, she somehow found
the strength to forgive him. She called him back, and told him that she forgave
him. She also spoke blessing over his life, and prayed with him and for him that
a new door of opportunity would open for him so that he could start a new life
with a clean slate. She also asked him to protect young girls if he ever
encountered any who were in danger of such assaults. He promised her that he
would.
A few months later, she received another phone call from
him. He told her that immediately after she granted him forgiveness, a visa was
issued from the nation he was hoping to move to. He moved, got a job, and thanked her again for
her forgiveness.
An unwillingness to forgive and guilt can create shackles
and chains in our lives, but forgiveness can set people free. Sometimes, it is not about who is right and
who is wrong. Victim or villain,
whichever part we have played, we can both be hurt, shackled and chained by the
experience.
My daily prayer has been that God will search my heart and
reveal to me if there is anyone I need to forgive, if I have offended anyone
and need to ask forgiveness, and even if I need to forgive myself.
So how does this entry tie into the “Food” blog? It's important to understand that nourishment
is not just a tangible item we place in our bodies, there is also the spiritual
nourishment we give our souls that is sometimes overlooked but just as
important as a malnourished soul often influences how we treat ourselves. Part of loving ourselves is taking care of
ourselves, and it's an inside job. If we
don't take care of the inside then it's possible we also make poor choices in
terms of what tangibles we choose from the outside to put into our bodies.
The story of how my girlfriend was able to overcome her trauma and find forgiveness was not only an inspiration of great strength, faith and character but also food for my soul.
